Tesla’s new tequila glasses are designed to ruin your tequila drinking experience

A photo of two Tequila tesla glasses.

Triangles are the strongest shape, but not when it comes to glassware.

A few years ago, Tesla decided that in addition to making electric cars, it should also make tequila. It was part of a wave across the alcohol industry that saw The Rock, George Clooney, Kylie Jenner, Rita Ora and a boatload of others famous faces start shipping their own brands of tequila. Now, for anyone who’s been crazy enough to buy a spirit made by an automaker, the automaker is offering a set of glasses that match the design of their tequila. And I hate them.

When first launched, the Tesla Tequila was a 100% agave spirit aged in oak barrels for at least one year. These are all good things to hear about a tequila; agave is the plant used to make it, and having it as the only ingredient means there’s no cheaper grain or cane alcohol mixed in to boost the alcohol content. (Note, spirits made with these additional ingredients are called tequilas mixto.)

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But I digress. The shocking thing about Tesla Tequila wasn’t that it might actually be a half-decent drink — it was the price. Where good ethically made añejo tequila will probably cost you around $60, Tesla was charging $250 and its latest version was over $1000

A photo of the Tequila bottle shaped like a Tesla lightning bolt.

A photo of the Tequila bottle shaped like a Tesla lightning bolt.

The Tesla Tequila sold out in the blink of an eye.

That’s a lot for a mind. So that means you’ll probably want to savor the taste of your Tesla Tequila, rather than pull it like you might have in your college days. And that’s why, as Teslarati Reports, the EV maker has now come up with a set of “sipping glasses” to enjoy your overpriced Tesla-branded tequila. Only one problem: they are horrible.

Glasses are designed to resemble the lightning bottle in which Tesla sold his mind. They are therefore triangles with a rounded base. And first of all, that means they won’t get up on their own.

So for your set of two glasses at $75you also get a mute etched holder that prevents your drink from spilling.

By itself, that would make them far too boring for me. But then, as the spirit-tasting pro in me comes to the surface, I have to point out that it’s just bad form for a sipping glass.

A photo of two triangular Tesla glasses in a metal holder.

A photo of two triangular Tesla glasses in a metal holder.

I’d rather have no drinks than two bad drinks.

When you taste something like aged tequila, much of the flavor you experience comes from the smell and aroma that emanates from the top of the drink. It is for this reason that whiskey tasters use tulip-shaped containers and why do wine glasses swell around the liquid. It gives the drink space to breathe and release all those lovely aromas.

Tequila is a wonderful, complex spirit that can have smoky flavors similar to a good scotch, a sweetness you might find in rum, and vanilla or fruit flavors that accompany a good bourbon. If you drink your tequila out of it, you’ll lose all of that. Plus, you’ll never be able to put your drink down unless you stay within arm’s reach of the metal stand, which means you’re more likely to swallow the whole glass at once. Which, again, defeats the whole point of finding fine ingredients and aging them properly to begin with.

These Tesla tequila glasses make about as much sense as chopping off the top and bottom of your steering wheel because they look like science fiction. Oh wait.

Instead of those new Tesla drink cones, have a nice wide-brimmed drink – you will have a much better time, I promise.

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Sarah C. Figueiredo